I have no signs of any bad psychiatric side affects to worsen my bipolar-ness or my schizzo-affective disorder. Great news! Let's keep that theme going as I continue. The other day I said it seemed as if I was smoking more. I actually wasn't. I signed up for the Get Quit internet support program and they give daily homework assignments. One of them was to keep track of every time I smoked and what was going on or what I was feeling at the time and then write it down. When I started taking Chantix I was up to almost 1 pack a day. When I took a look at what I was doing on day 3, I only smoked 10 cigarettes the whole day. I think what might have been happening is that each time I smoked after starting this program, I was fully aware of what I was doing and it seemed like a whole lot. I think that although I was smoking more before I started, I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing and did it only half-consciously. Does that make sense?
I still crave, although I can go longer periods in between when I feel like I "have" to have one. Another thing that I have heard so much is that many people practically quit before their quit day because the cigarettes start tasting bad. I have not had that happen yet, although I wish it would.
I'm still a little panicky about the whole quit day thing. I was invited to go to a monthly "sweepers" meeting this Saturday. I immediately thought...I don't know if I can do that right on my first day of no cigarettes! I thought about the looooong car drive there and back, plus the eating in between. After a few minutes of high anxiety I started thinking rationally. The drive each way is only 20 minutes. Although one of my biggest triggers and one of the places where I "have" to smoke is in the car, surely I can put off for just 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back, right? I'm thinking I can do it.
Don't worry about the quit day. You are placing too much emphasis on it.
ReplyDeleteI recently had my gall bladder removed. When I checked into the hospital before surgery, a nurse came into the room to do my write up. She listened to my lungs first and asked how long ago I quit smoking. I asked her how she knew I had smoked. She told me she could tell because of the way my air moved through my lungs. It does not move as freely as someone who had never smoked. I QUIT IN 1980!! **31** years AGO!!! and a nurse could still tell that I had smoked.
Keep going Lisa. You can do it. You don't need no stinking cigarettes!!
Much encouragement & love,
Carol